Wednesday, December 30, 2009

HUMILITY.


Here I am almost 40, and looking back it sure has been a long bumpy road getting to where I am. But "where I am" is really not much different from where I started. Except one thing: huge doses of humility... And that is probably more than anyone can ask for.

On my youtube channel, sometimes I get some real doozies in the realm of negative comments. When it comes to haters, they are what they are. There's no rationalizing them. But I have noticed that apart from the blatant haters, there are other types of people who post negative comments that seem to be motivated in a different way than some of these haters. Sometimes, I will click on their username just to see their profile and try to get a sense of who this person is and what's bugging them.

Some of them are very publicly open to who they are in their identity. I find a lot of them that are college aged or in their twenties, often dabbling in (or their main interest is) art. a lot of times their comments are directed at my techniques in art, (especially the digital realism) in which they seek to discredit my work as "nothing special" or "cheating", etc.

The first thing that comes to mind, is for me to remember when I was in my twenties. There was no youtube back then, and similar internet forums weren't as large as they are now-- but it was pretty much the same mentality... Instead of the web, there were just the real public venues such as conventions, trade shows, etc. where large numbers of artists often attended and got acquainted with one another. The same competitive egos existed back then. And I was one of them.

Even I remember thinking thoughts of superiority in my mind when comparing myself to other artists. (But due to certain upbringing, I wasn't as blatantly out-loud about it as some of the others.)

I remember feeling quite "high on my horse" about my so called talent back then. I remember thinking how superior I was because I got a few breaks in publishing in the comics industry and because I thought I was a pretty good photo-real airbrush artist. But then strange things happen in life... You think you grow up when you turn 18 and have to register for the draft.. But often sometimes there is a second "growing up" period that comes along. And sometimes it isn't so pleasant. And it seems like the more proud and cocky you are, the more unpleasant it is.

For example, my growing up period took place as I exited my twenties. Already married, and having my second child (a daughter) the pivotal day of growing up happened the day after she was born. My younger brother Richard was shot and killed in the line of duty as a police officer. So ironic... I remember Sarah (my daughter) being recorded as the same birth weight and height as he was when he was born (and she actually came a couple weeks earlier than projected. Allowing my brother to be there to see her before he was taken). We kidded around with him and tried to get him to hold her, but he refused saying, "there's plenty of time for that". Next day- he was gone.

I remember the next two years being so dark. The sudden death of Richard brought on severe nightmares, with blood soaked images involving bad people and the murder of my family and primarily my children. Richard had a strong closeness with my son Brandon, who at that time was only 2, which seemed to trigger cross-over nightmares involving Brandon being horrifically murdered. When one of the news broadcasts of the shooting of my brother had another officer describing the amount of bleeding form my brother before he went limp, it triggered some awful horror images in my mind and fed these awful nightmares... They went on for a while causing extreme anxiety and depression mixed with fear and paranoia. For those couple of years, I would not let my family go anywhere without me... Not even a short trip to the store down the road.

Other areas of life seemed to be getting pretty rough. Work had started to disappear a while before that tragedy. But things got progressively worse as the computers took over art in commercial art industries. Financially, we were in shambles. It was a very panicky time as I watched my family struggle to be fed, and guilt and realization about my own abilities as an artist brought me to my knees. With computers ruling the industry, and me not having ANY talent/skill what so ever besides my airbrush and paint-brushes- what was I worth? How did I let this happen? I never went to school or college.. I was as naive as they come.

The only thing I could try and do was learn computers as fast I could. There was a decent amount of insurance money that was awarded to families of fallen officers, from which I was able to invest in a computer. I tried to learn it as fast as I could at that time, and finally got enough knowledge to get a job at a small local studio that specialized in digital imaging/retouching for ad agencies. However, there was still a lot OJT that was required, and since that was the case I was hired at only about a third of what people in that position made at that time.

Finances were slow to recover, as raises on the job only made it to about half of the standard industry rate before the next big life changer would cause me to change paths once again. My daughter, (at age 3 by that time) was diagnosed with autism. In a typical parental reaction, we of course panicked and scrambled to find out what (if anything) we could do. Unfortunately, insurance did not (DOES NOT) cover autism, and it's treatments. There were some therapies that were known to statistically improve a child's condition, but they were IMMENSELY expensive. And to add to that, it was said that the therapies were only effective if you did as much as possible before age five.

I was unable to get the raise I needed from work, and with our current debts there really was no choices available to us. With what little money we could squeeze for the most minimum amount of therapies, it was calculated that we were gonna go under financially... SOON. We had just bought a house, and were barely able to get it and were threatened to lose it already. (Small price to pay to try and bring your child's mind into this world). So- since we were already doomed no matter what financially, I quit my job.

In my mind, I figured that I was gonna go down slowly anyway- there was nothing to lose. But possibly MORE to gain if I took a gamble. Having now learned some computer knowledge and getting a feel for the commercial art industry, I calculated that there was a chance that I could MAYBE succeed as a freelancer once again. And if I did, there would be no groveling for a raise from anyone, but instead I would be in CONTROL. I could save our home and help our daughter's future.

Well... It wasn't that easy. I showed my portfolio for photoshop/digital work involving photo-real illustration as well as retouching that I had acquired during my 3 years at that job... But no one was biting. Too many competitors in town already offering that service... I was bringing nothing new to the table. (no one knew what the photo-real illustration was. They thought it was photographs, or just more of the retouching). Still, almost losing everything- things didn't start to turn around until about a year later. Even though I really didn't think my comic work in the nineties would be of any use, I included it in the portfolio in once last attempt. That was it. That did it. There was a huge need for storyboard and animatics artists since a few of the local art studios had closed down. The flood gates opened, and from there my other illustration abilities were finally noticed. I have been working steady, non-stop since.

Fast forward to today- We got as much therapy as possible for Sarah. She is now turning 11. She's a funny kid, lots of personality- and with what therapy were able to squeeze in- we can see it has helped. But she is still autistic. She tried to run away twice, both times being picked up at a busy intersection. (when I say "run away" I don't mean in the sense of trying to get away- more in a sense of "wandering off" without any sense of fear or "common sense" as we know it.)

..Because of that, our house is like Fort Knox. Windows bolted so that they won't open past 3 inches, alarm system, lots of safety locks and latches., etc. But it's normal for us. We are used to it. And the reality is that she will ALWAYS live with us. She can never be on her own. And with my God-given art talent, it is my responsibility to use it to create a future for her. Especially in case something happens to us. That's what I live for now, besides the normal providing for a family. My life as an artist is connected to making sure her future is safe, first and foremost. And we still have a long way to go... Especially now that the economy is so bad. But we are doing it. Steadily, and humbly.

Which brings my point full circle. Humility.... The chastening of life. That 20 something version of myself didn't know SQUAT. That puffed up ego that I had (and all other artists have at some given time) amounts to NOTHING compared to the fragility of life... And death. What's more, I see the work that I did back then when I thought I was "all that". It really wasn't all that good. Which makes me question my current work a lot more. Maybe it isn't as good as I might think it is.

But the biggest point in humility here is the respect for others above all else. The point to telling this story wasn't about "poor me". It wasn't to make you feel sorry for me. I'm fine. I am blessed. I told this story as an example to anyone else out there who is the equivalent to the 20 something version of me... All this that you see on my site-- my status as an artist-- it is all just worldly superficial crap. Everything could change tomorrow. It is what is behind that art- and WHY I do it that counts. I look back at my younger more arrogant self, and I realize that my perceptions of others and their work was SO WRONG. My perception of my SELF was wrong. No one knows what the other person is going through in their life- or is GONNA go through.

These young people that criticize my art technique, trying to equate it to nothing special---you have no idea how special it has become. Respect would be nice. But more than that, for your own sake- humility is a must. Had I realized my real status back then, I would have been able to see what I needed to do to prepare for my family's future. Certain things on that tough road would not have happened. Arrogance blinds us. We close the doors to better learning because we believe we are already there. When I was brought to my knees, it was almost too late- but once I opened my mind, I learned a whole new world of skill and talent in my ability as an artist- and continue to do so.

I try not to dwell too much on the fact that had I been more humble and allowed myself to learn at an earlier age, we could have bypassed the whole financial burden and could have very easily provided at least twice the therapy for Sarah, and sooner. But I guess everything happens for a reason, and with that I can at least share it with you and let it be an example to anyone whom it might help.

140 comments:

Melisa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Melisa said...

I'm awed to discover your Youtube site and the artworks you have in there. Your works are all marvelous and have an imprint of genuine talent.

This post is very beautiful. Reading real-life matters like this is always very engaging and interesting for me.

I wish you and your family the best this coming new year, and I look forward to visiting and seeing your other master pieces.

Enrique said...

i want to share a bit with you, about my religion, a self invented religion which takes foundation in 3 values, Truth, Courage and Respect.

truth to be honest with oneself and understand one's mistakes

courage to face ones fears
and
respect to go through the world in a human manner.

anyways, your text here is very touching.

:-)
happy holidays

Joe said...

This is a very inspirational piece of reading, and all of those youtubers with so much negativity and misunderstanding, could learn so much from your at and your lesson in humility! I applaud you, your gratefulness for you talent and your ability to endure. Recently like yourself, my sister passed away, my niece and i were the ones to find her she was only 41 years old. I had not seen any of my family in almost 20 years. It was so heartbreaking for me when walking into my sisters house for the first time in nearly in nearly 2 decades to find all of the portraits and pictures that i had painted as a teenager hanging all through out her house. Things i don't even remember painting, yet there they were and then to find her passed was just too much emotion, and to realize that my talent meant so much to her just put my life into a whole new perspective. I admire you for being strong enough face the difficulties you have and remain soft enough to create such beauty.

I am a professional sculptor these days and find my industry turning to computers more and more so i must also embrace the ever changing way in which technology will change our lives. I hope like you i have the strength to succeed.

Thanks for sharing your story.

scjanzen said...

I saw the hot ugly fairy,(not ugly),I was blown away and left a comment,Your work is beautiful,I found your website and read your story. Tears followed and humbled by your gains and losses,I'm proud of you, you took the leap, where alot of people (like myself) would not. I'm old school artist and was to afraid to take the new leap, with your story in my heart and the faith of my family, its time for this old mom to take the leap! Your are the hero in this story and blessed by your family. Happy New Year and may these years shine. ;) Samantha

!*S.T.U-Vash said...

Thanks for sharing your story, it sure makes things clear in minds. I do sometimes become a sort of cocky bastard without noticing anything...
I can tell things that don't seems bad to me that hurt people, I don't know if it's because of the age or something but yeah we all must show our own humility ( all the time is quite hard thought, I can't even explain why ... )

I feel all dumb and stupid when things like that happen but that's not what we need ...

Anyway I wish you good luck and a happy new year to you and your family.

pos vibes said...

may positive vibrations shine on you

Cheops1975 said...

This is actually my first ever blog comment. Go me.

Your post struck a nerve with me so here goes. I'm a former police officer who was an aspiring artist before college. I worked hard and was accepted to a number of art schools but just never wound up going.. to either college or art school. Woohoo.

I'm currently in the middle of the Pacific ocean on a tiny island with nothing to do so I figured I'd pick up art again. As of now I'm absolutely loving it. I buckled down and bought an intous4 and photoshop but theres a wee bit of a learning curve involved so it's slow going. I'd love to move into an art oriented career field or maybe freelance when I get back to the states but I have no eartly idea how to even go about that.

Be that as it may there's something to be said for not being hit with a baseball bat, stabbed, or shot at anymore. I've lost several friends in the line of duty so my heart goes out to you.

Lastly I just wanted to say you and your videos were the sole reason/inspiration for me getting back into something I really love and never should have left. My thanks to you and my best to you and your family!

legice said...

weii all I can say is that I am impressed by your art, as well as your motivations for it.

knowing,haveing or being someone with a disability I think effects a person in life...for better or for worse,but it allways makes a person more of a human.

keep it real cgsbgs

Trahald said...

Thank you for sharing your story. My son is 8 years old now and too was diagnosed with autism at 3. My youngest has been in early intervention since 6 months (he is 3 now.) So I understand a little what youve gone through.

Im glad you were able to make a living doing what you love and appreciate how well you do it and that you bless us with your talents for free. Dont listen to the haters. Haters will always hate.

caladors said...

I was always in awe of your work, I watched happily as you detailed your work and I thought it would be fantastic to have an ounce of your talent.

Then I read your story...
And now I am in awe of you as a person, I love stories and yours truely epic I doubt that I would be able to handle myself with as much grace and humility as you did.

I hope with all my heart that you find all the happiness in the world.
You deserve it.

Polishboy35 said...

I know how it feels to be paranoid about things. I was diagnosed with leukemia when i was seven. I was cured but relapsed a few years later. Now when i get the slightest feeling of being ill i go crazy and start blowing it out of proportion. It's just alot to deal with at the age of 15.

Polishboy35 said...

A GLASS OF MILK

One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay his way through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was hungry.

He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door.

Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of water. She thought he looked hungry so brought him a large glass of milk. He drank it slowly, and then asked, How much do I owe you?"

You don't owe me anything," she replied. "Mother has taught us never to accept pay for a kindness." He said ... "Then I thank you from my heart."

As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only felt stronger physically, but his faith in God and man was strong also. He had been ready to give up and quit.

Many year's later that same young woman became critically ill. The local doctors were baffled. They finally sent her to the big city, where they called in specialists to study her rare disease.

Dr. Howard Kelly was called in for the consultation. When he heard the name of the town she came from, a strange light filled his eyes.

Immediately he rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her room.

Dressed in his doctor's gown he went in to see her. He recognized her at once.

He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to save her life. From that day he gave special attention to her case.

After a long struggle, the battle was won.

Dr. Kelly requested the business office to pass the final bill to him for approval. He looked at it, then wrote something on the edge and the bill was sent to her room. She feared to open it, for she was sure it would take the rest of her life to pay for it all. Finally she looked, and something caught her attention on the side of the bill. She read these words .... "Paid in full with one glass of milk" (Signed) Dr. Howard Kelly.

Tears of joy flooded her eyes as her happy heart prayed: "Thank You, God, that Your love has spread broad through human hearts and hands."

There's a saying which goes something like this: Bread cast on the waters comes back to you. The good deed you do today may benefit you or someone you love at the least expected time. If you never see the deed again at least you will have made the world a better place--after all, isn't that what life is all about?

Now you have two choices.

1. You can send this page on and spread a positive message.
2. Or ignore it and pretend it never touched your heart.

The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which -- To burn ...

the Barbarian said...

Excellent post. I've never been on your blog before, but have been watching your youtube videos for quite some time. The speed-painting videos that are now so 'in' are the reason why I too, invested in a starter tablet and started practicing.

Now seeing that there was a point in your life when you had no idea how to use a tablet or computer, this is just mind-boggling.

Of course we all know you can learn and better yourself over time, but it's a different matter to see just how much one can improve.

Best wishes to you & family, and please remember that for every hater out there, there are countless others that truly love your work and are inspired by it.

In the end the haters don't matter, but the people that look with an open mind & heart and learn something, to them your art actually makes a huge difference :)

Luis said...

Hello Chris, I have just finished reading your entry. Life is a fragile random web of experiences and memories, that can be blown away by the slightest breeze. It is what you take from those experiences to get your web rebuilt. Your story, is going to inspire so many people that are having trouble in this world.

I am trying to become a artist, and watching your youtube channel has inspired me so much. Much more than you can imagine. I have been able to draw since I picked up a pencil. I didn't know what path to take, until I saw your videos. You've inspired me so much that I have now based my career on what I have taken from your videos. haha.

It's disheartening that there are people out there that seem to get pleasure out of making other people miserable. That is how life is, there are millions of people who have adapted and evolved into what they are today. Best thing to do is accept their differences and adapt to it.

I am only 17 now, starting to cross over into the real world. I am starting to realize that life is precious, and one second of self doubt can eat you alive. I had a friend, her name was Kylie. She was cute, the perfect girl in the world. She committed suicide this past November, I feel fine now. But to be honest I know I'm not, watching you draw on your videos humbles me in a way I guess. Her boyfriend had recently broke up with her, and I knew it was eating her alive. She loved this man, who broke her heart. We were starting to build our relationship, I was too shy to reveal my true feelings to her... Life is like riding a life long roller coaster blind folded. I am going to have to live the rest of my life knowing that, what if I told her? Would I be happier. It eats me... I love art, and Chris being born in the middle of the digital age is amazing. Reading your posts and your website. I feel like I know you. Haha, it's crazy. I hope you read this post and see how many peoples lives you had just touched by posting that blog entry. It has touched mine, even more than you can possibly imagine. I hope the best for you and your family.

~Luis Cotton

MarySees said...

I saw some of your work on youtube, and I was blown away! You are amazing! Painting Sarah is beautiful! Don't listen to anyone who puts you down. You are mega-talented.

You have been through so much in your life. Yet you have been so strong and steadfast. I send love to you and your family.

Mary

rey said...

hi,

Just finished reading your entry. I promised I will not repeat your mistakes. All the best to you. Thank you.

rey

Angelina said...

Your post gave me a lot to think about, especially now when I'm almost 20. Now that I think about it, arrogance really stops us from learning because we think we are "better than others". "Others" are only people we know and see, but there are still "OTHERS" out there who are much, much better.

Thank you for opening up my mind, for now when I feel too proud of myself, I will think of you and your wonderful post.

EnigmaticPhantasy said...

It's really disappointing that there are many college artists/students that can't show any respect.

I am a college student studying art myself, but I find criticizing rater cruel and hurtful. Critiques I can take, no matter how harsh they are, but at least those help me to improve my art.

Reading your story brought tears to my eyes, out of compassion. It is a beautiful story that is honest and full of love and hope.

I guess I might have had an ego some time ago, but I can't really remember since I personally had a difficult time during middle and high school years that it pretty much crushed any and all ego I had along with my self confidence. I guess that I am one of those artists that finds sanctuary in working with my hands and that is why I became so involved with art.

Humility is a wonderful characteristic to have, but I've been told that I am too humble(or just plain timid) for the works I produce. Artists on their high-horse need humility, while people like me need years to regain some self-confidence, both are sides of the same coin.

I'm sorry if this seems long... I tend to ramble at times...

kristen said...

i wanted to compliment you on your art, your ability and willingness to share your experiences and especially your dedication to your gorgeous little girl.
i have not had the time yet to read through your whole blog so i dont know what dif kinds of things you have experienced and I personally dont have any experience with autism but i do deal with a spinal cord injury which has taken me a lot of places in terms of therapy and that leads me to the reason i am posting.
i recently started going to the chiropractor, which has really helped me, and he treats a lot of children some of which have autism. anyway there is one young boy who has had tremendous success since being treated.
i'm sure you have heard of this as a means of therapy perhaps you have even tried it with her and maybe have your own opinion, i hate to take up your time with things you already know but i was just posting on the slight chance that you maybe wouldn't have heard of it being used to treat autism etc. and what if you checked it out and it turned out to be beneficial. any way that was all i wanted to offer and im sure i made this way longer and time consuming than need be. good luck with everything and i wish you and yours the best.
your work is beautiful

Mike said...

Chris,

I've always admired your talent, and am truly touched by your story, your perspective, and your inspirational outlook on life. Best wishes, brother!

ivan said...

Chris

Thank you for sharing.

Neil said...

You sir, are one of the most talented artists i have ever seen, and one of the kindest hear. Hands down. God Bless you, your kind heart and your family.

BDJOE said...

I'm fan of EVERY artist in this world. Not excluding you ofcourse. I want to learn more of them no matter God have given me a little of what you have. I'm 13. And want to show something different to this world. Could you help me?

Capitaine said...

A fool has nothing to learn from a wiseman, but the wiseman has everything to learn from the fool.
Those negative youtubers are fools, let us be wisemen.

Your blog is very honest, humble and full of wisdom, it's very generous of you to offer this knowledge to anyone willing to read it. May it help those who it can reach, as for the rest, time will catch up to them.

I wish you and your precious family happyness and a prosper life.

Truc Tran said...

I've never commented on a blog before, but in this case, I just want to let you know how admirable you are.

Thank you for everything I've seen and read!

jahglow said...

man... there are hardly ever words to be found... the story of your life you told us is... you know... Your statement that God gave you the talent is really true. Recently I came to the idea or I'd rather say a revelation that everything we achieve in our life is only because God has let us because He is holding us breath and everything lives by Him. It's so stupid to be arrogant and think that you are the one who are worthy to be praised for the success. Why? Well, some might say "I worked hard and I'm good cuz I worked and applied some force", you know what I'm saying. But nonetheless none of us would have been able to be so patient and hardworking if He hadn't given us His grace and mercyto do that. As the Apostle Paul said - there's nothing to brag about, we all got it as a gift. So true. I feel sorry about your little daughter. I don't know whether you believe in God or not, there IS the God and His name is Jesus Christ. I've seen miracles of canser trumours vanish and AIDS people getting absolutely restored (they were ex-drugaddict) and that's medially documented. I mean He really does miracles and how the Bible states - He's the same yesterday, today and forever. So He's healing and saving today as He did yesterday and 2000 years ago. I know, you prayed in your life, everyone prayed "God, if you exhist..." He IS and He definitely knows everything of the case and He cares more than you and your wife do, I know it for sure, because He loves more than parents can love a child. He designed your daughter in the womb of your precious wife and I might not know what's the reason for her illness, He does, but I'm sure He's ALLMIGHTY enough to fix this. And nothing happens by chance and you fairly understand it yourself, as you have stated. I ran over your video, because I tried myself the speedpainting thing, I'm just a starter at this with not much of a talent or any education on the point. God loves you and your family, and He cares. Talk to Him the way you can, I believe He will answer. He never stays silent when people don't come for religion but for personal relationship with Him as a real Father that is in Heaven.

Bless you and your family, your works are an inspiration, photo realism is the hardest thing to achieve and you do it, praise God for the talent He's given you. But there's more to life than these things that die with you. God bless you, I'll pray for your daughter's healing.

Kyle_C said...

Dear Chris,
I'm sure I'm not the first, and that I wont be the last, to complement you. Probably doesn't seem like much coming from an anonymous user of "the Internet", a place full of scorn, immaturity, and unfiltered opinion. With that being said, I don't often post on-line; knowing that my words are a drop in the ocean. After reading your blog, I found myself compelled to say something kind; if only to offset the cruelty of others. It's nice to be reminded that there are real people out there, with real problems, and real joy.
One of my favorite quotes:
"Humility is to make a right estimate of one's self. It is no humility for a man to think less of himself than he ought, though it might rather puzzle him to do that.
-Charles Hadden Spurgeon"

Thanks and God bless,
-K

Decadia said...

Wow, your art is marvelous without any words to describe it.

But, do you really believe in Autism? If it is true, then I had Autism too when I was young(I read a lot of signs on many sources), but my parents thought that what I did was part of a normal kid's life, they didn't even know about the word Autism and because I was treated normally-a little more creative than some- I developed pretty average too. I had my own world to go on and my own little beliefs and I still do, but many years ago (in elementary)I realized that it was a fantasy I could just hope for.

I do struggle in math (time-lines, algebra, etc) but I'm getting better. I struggle on roads, I can't remember where the streets are located and I only know them visually, but I'm getting there! However I could still get lost even near my house if I were to be dropped off randomly(we move often). I used to be very quick at my words and spelling, but after the fifth grade, I kind of lagged behind ( I would sometimes mix up my speech with other thoughts or words I would say after)of course, I could keep up with conversations but not too long. I would run off a lot when I was little, heh, but not the type to run away, just "exploring". I was a hyper little thing. Climb on other's rooftops or trees, run around the blocks a lot and when I got my bike...o boy.. I had not real shame but I felt like I wanted to fly. My parents never really kept me locked up..I think it would make it worse.

I'd say, if I was treated with Autism and my parents and others would have treated me like a sort of handicapped child, heck, even I would lag behind and act kind of awkward because it would feel convenient to have so much support.
And yes, I know it can vary greatly in symptoms and hope that in your case, it is more lighter.

Well, it hit me when I read your writing, so I had to say something to someone whose art I aspire to.
Try to have her support herself, even if it is very straining. I hope treatments are over with, if not soon.

I am also one of those teens who think a little higher than themselves at times, but heh, I guess I just can't help being like that it is how many teens are.
I wish you good luck and a very sweet year. C=

EduCatOR said...

Wow, awesome reading, words of a mentor.

All I can say is that I'm 25, am just finishing school, and couldn't even come close to what you are doing if my family, my life, or anything else for that matter depended on it.

I have been starting to question my abilities as a designer, questioning if I had picked the right choice.

It is hard, thank you for your story.

Andryan said...

Hi Chris, thanks for your sweet writing up there, it inspired me in many ways as the 20s version of you is very "me" today.

I am going to be 24 soon and a few months back I was reminded by many things around me and God that I was very cocky. My arrogance gave me troubles with my friends and my surrounding and I didn't really care about it until one day I woke up one morning and realized that I've lost a great friend because of that... I regret what me and my cockiness did to my friend. I've tried many attempts to make it up with him but my voice didn't reach, and I realized that the hole has been dug too deep for my voice to reach him.

I've learned from my mistake and have decided to change myself, for the better future of me.

And as of today, a few minutes ago, I read what you wrote and it hurts, really it hurts, not because it's a bad writing, but because the past me is inside what you wrote and I saw a vision of what's coming to the future me if I don't change, and truth hurts, doesn't it.

Thanks for your sharing, I am really inspired by your writing and I am more determined to change myself. God bless you and your family.

Andy

kellybigballs said...

I am studying Fine Art at University and have been told that they prefer us to study more "Contemporary" Artists. I'd like you to know that you have inspired me out of a 2 year Artist's Block. I will be including you in my sketch book. Thank you and keep up the good work.
Also I don't take criticism well either!! It makes me feel as though I shouldn't be producing "art" but your blog has given me a fresh perspective on how to take it.

Have a good day x

Jay.me said...

Hi, I recently discovered your art online. ...I am always happy to see an amazing artist who gives credit to our Creator for their talents. ~You are so right about humility.
Best wishes for you and your family =)

k_ameron said...

your work and story is the first thing that has brought me on the verge of tears in a year, you have made me realise that in a world of colour, i can feel black and white.
being able to do something out of the goodness of a person's heart, gives me joy to know that there people in the world who care, being 14, i can't possibly start to understand what people have been through, you have both inspired and touched me.
only hate can come of hate.
anyways keep it real and bless you and your family :)

Jessie said...

I think you're someone a thirteen year old "artist" (which I admittedly am) should look up to - you really are amazing.

I agree with you on the negative comments - sometimes when you see an artist who is so much better than you, it makes you feel bad, because you thought you were so good - and then you convince yourself they're going something wrong or they're faking it.

Personally, I don't do that but I still feel bad, even if I am 13. =P That's one reason to look up to you - reading this post makes me realise.

My art - well, my drawings at the moment (I'm only just starting painting) gets a fair few compliments, and it's not too bad for my age if I do say myself, but for me watching your videos gives me ideas - I mean, I thought my pictures were detailed.

Note use of the word: thought. I don't use half as much detail as you do. You inspire me - to bad I couldn't choose you for my English assignment xD

Keep on drawing - no matter what you do, you'll always have haters (:

Hisart777 said...

You sir, are truly blessed! Sometimes wisdom is acquired as we leave the darkest of places and the bloodiest of battles. Other times it is learned by listening to others that have walked out of those places. May all the aspiring artists out there listen to what you have said and learn.

God Bless!
Hisart

jelena magdalena said...

I am a version of you in your 20's. I'm a music student. What you wrote is so true. Thank you.

arenia said...

I've always found seeing the art of others can be either an ego-inflating or completely humbling experience, and seeing yours was very humbling for me and made me want to continue pursuing realism as much as I could. (I tend to find working off photos dull, but the results are incredible and the skills learned from it are universally applicable)

I went through a period of time a couple of years ago where I couldn't even bring myself to look at the art of others; I found it disheartening and discouraging, but after taking some courses in art for the first time in my life in HS I was able to distinguish
"humility" from "disheartenement". Now I look at your work and am inspired and humbled at the same time. I am entering an art and design college next fall.

I look forward to seeing more of your paintings.

~arenia

jon.gragg said...

Hello Chris, first of all I just want to say that your artwork is amazing, and your videos alone have convinced me to start digital work. I understand what your saying about the twenty year olds thinking they are awesome artists. I am twenty-one myself, and my dream is to make a living being an artist. I get comments all the time about how good my artwork is, but compared artists like yourself my work is a joke, but I plan spending all the time I can improving my work. Im just not sure if I should use photoshop or corel painter 11. I know you must be a very busy man but if you could spare any of your time at all I would love to hear a couple tips from an artist as good as you. Thanks for your time and I can't wait to see more of your work! Best of luck to you and your family, sincerely, Jonathan

Val Erde said...

Your work is astonishing. I don't think I'd come across photorealism done directly into photoshop before, though I use the program for artwork myself of a quite different style. I saw it on YouTube and your site, and am just amazed. And then I read this post. I've bookmarked it as I want to read it again in a few weeks. It's got content I don't want to forget.

Do you blog somewhere else or have you given up now? I'd love to read more of your posts, if you do.

molly said...

i feel very lucky to have stumbled upon your artwork this morning, you are very talented and reading this only gives me even more respect for you. your daughter is portrayed beautifully in her portraits

逸凡逸凡 said...

thank you for you to make me learn more,thank you∩0∩

Andreas said...

Such a wonderful story, the way you told it. It is human in its essence and it moves me as I read it. I came to your site after watching you draw a dragon on youtube. I love dragons and I was in awe when I watched you draw it.

I feel that Art is proportional to how Human the art is. When it speaks to the very essence of us without saying a word then Art is in its true form. I could see this already in your painting but I sure appreciate that you can honestly write about yourself like that. I think you are an inspiration to many and I guess that is something to live for, though I now understand that your family is what you really live for. It is love all the way through

Jonas said...

Your story is pretty touching. You seem to be a humble and rational person and I like that kind of people. You should not take YouTube haters seriously, because mostly they are just pre-teens/teens who want attention at any cost and bash any video they find. I just want you to know that I endorse your work truly and you've even got me interested in studying art. I don't wish to sound "ass licking" but I hope life treats you well :]

Dan said...

Wow. Thank you for taking the time to write this. Inspiring.

You're right, and I've definitely taking great advice from this post.

I am 23, and am very proud of my artwork thus far. There have been times when I've let myself get carried away with my talent, almost thinking for a moment that I know at all, that I'm pretty versed in my art. I never actually carried that thought around in an overly serious tone, I wouldn't bash other people's art-- but I definitely judge other peoples art, and often times think I'm better than others. Of course much of what I speak of is really my inner thoughts. I don't outwardly bash other art work, or proclaim I'm the best.

The thing is... I've taken time recently (the start of 2010) to take my art more seriously. I realize that I'm good, sure, but I have so much to learn. Like you, I look upon my old work, work that I once thought was amazing, and think "wow... that really wasn't even that good." It's all about maturing your skill. It's about taking it to heart and growing with it-- which I'm earnestly trying to do now more than ever.

I know that there is no limit for my skill, just as there is no limit to yours. Your limit is only what you're willing to let it be. Don't ever think that you can't get any better, one can always improve.

I feel as though I'm somewhat close to a "new awakening" in my artwork. That is, I feel as though I'm about to burst through a barrier that I've been trapped under for so long. Lot's to hone.

The best quote of your blog post, in my eyes, is "Arrogance blinds us. We close the doors to better learning because we believe we are already there." This is so painfully true it hurts. As I've said, I've never really been truly arrogant, but there have been times that I've inwardly thought that I had it all figured out-- I don't.

Thank you for writing this because you've helped me to further my goals, and reconsider how I view other people, and myself! Seriously, I'm very thankful. I'm excited to see where my practice can take me. :)

As for your photo-realistic paintings... They are OUTSTANDING. Photo-realism is EXACTLY my own goal in my own artwork (granted you're WAYYY better than me-- but hey, years more experience will do that ;D ). People discredit you because they simply don't understand. I actually snickered when I read your bit in the youtube video of the baby where you mention that the computer didn't help you in any way with the art, that it's all free hand, on canvas, etc. because I know exactly why you bothered to say it.

As SOON as you show someone your artwork, and they ask what medium it is, and you say "I drew it on a computer" the person pauses for a moment, and says "oh... you drew it on a computer." They say it in an unenthusiastic sense as if you've let them down, they are assuming that you in fact did not draw it, that the computer did it for you. With many misinformed individuals, simply saying that you drew it on the computer is enough for them to discredit your skill.

Being able to render as well as you do, to the point where people don't believe you did it is an EXCEPTIONAL skill. They only say stupid things because they are jealous. To me, art is at it's absolute best when it's so real looking that it can be mistaken for a photograph. Now that, is skill.

Keep up the good work, and God bless you!

p.s. I'm going to go draw now. :)

Thanks again!
-Dan

Jerry said...

I found your site and was admiring your art. I am a traditional artist in every sense of the word. I have never been brave enough to learn computer graphics. I am also about 40 and humbled by lifes sudden slaps in the face.
I thought my art was special/better/more gifted than anyone I studied in school with. I thought getting my college degree guaranteed me a decent income and security... Going to the University of Washington and thinking that my 4.0 GPA and huge debt of student loans "entitled" me to a life better than others around me. Boy, was I wrong.
When I realized that I was not going to easily make a living in fine art or find a teaching job in art (my degree)..I went into the next thing I was most passionate about: Antiques. I owned my own business and thought myself fairly lucky to be earning a very high income in my 20's. I built a house in Hawaii on the beach and travelled. Everyone I knew was sooo jealous of my lifestyle. I did what I wanted and when I wanted..I also forgot to continue practicing my art. That is something I regret.
Well, along came Ebay and I very quickly lost my business and income. Shortly after that I sold my home to keep my expenses low and put every penny I had earned into the stock market.. This was 1999. By 2001, I still had not found a job because I was living off several hundred thousand dollars invested and daytrading in stocks, and had generally done well throughout the entire time since closing my shop. I thought I was the smartest guy in the World.. Work was for losers! The thought of working a 40 hour job for $50K a year like many of my friends sounded sickening to me! I looked at those people as schmucks.
Then 9-11 came. My good friend Georgine was killed on Fl 93, and my money was placed in margin accounts on tech stocks that seemed to have already bottomed out. I lost every penny. Every single penny I had. I was unemployed, penniless and had massive debt and was renting an expensive home I couldnt afford. I could not find a job after that..Nobody wanted to hire a 35 year with no real employment history. I ended up having to move to find a job. I ended up working in furniture sales and for years barely eeked out a bare minimum to live on. I was thankful I had no children to support. I quit that job shortly after my 20 year old nephew died in a car accident. I thought LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO WORK THIS JOB I HATE!
I am now painting and doing odd jobs to survive. I am 43 and would have never thought I would be in the position I'm in. But I'm healthy and humble. I still have not sold a painting, even though everyone tells me my work is great..The economy is terrible.
So when someone out there criticizes your work and says you somehow are inferior to their technique in some ways, just say "If you think it's so easy, then why didn't YOU do it?" I will never stick my nose in the air to anyone trying to be creative, in an technique, medium or style... Not as long as they love what they are doing and support their family on the income.
Artforms are only an expression of the human mind and spirit, how those things are expressed is not for another person to judge. It would be like a guitarist telling a pianist that they suck because their fingers are not actually touching the strings. And you also have to account for the arrogant, immature, know-it-all's out there...I think they are quite readily available in the under 30 group.
Thankis for sharing Chris... You really inspired me to just keep trying and not give up.
JC

die_michi said...

Hi Chris,
thanks so much for these beautiful words. Your writing reminds me on my own life. It´s just few months ago that I also learned something about being humble and about how fragile things like life and health are. When you are 18 and, at least you think so, grown-up, you know everything and the world lies to your feet. But some day, maybe in times of feeling invulnerably, something comes to pull you down. Deeper as you ever suggested. My two children are healthy, and today I know that this is not an implicitness. While the last three years I almost lost sight of the real important things in my life. And I am very thankful for being able to recover it.
But before I forget, you art is really awesome. You are a very, very talented artist. At some days I can´t stop watching your speed paints.
With lovely greetings and the best wishes
Michaela

die_michi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Joe Kennedy said...

Hi Cris,

I'm in my mid forties. In my youth I too was arrogant in my own way. Also fearless, naive etc.. Without those youthful attributes I'm not sure I would have had the courage to plow into life and start a family at a young age when all that vitality can be shared in the endeavors of procreation. Don't be so hard on yourself.

Humility is an element of wisdom. Wisdom comes only with experience and passage of time.

Tim said...

hey this is Tim from Taiwan, I am very impressed by your art work that's the best thing I ever sees in my life, simply amazing. May God bless you and all your family :) , thx for sharing your story with us.

Freyja, Valhalla Emissary said...

Beautiful story, Chris. Thank you for sharing it with us, it was very touching.

I discovered you on Youtube a few years back, and you are incredibly talented. Best wishes to you and your beautiful little girl.

Roberta said...

As l see it, we are so crowded by people who thinks they have rights to say humiliating things. This is the world we are living in - and l think l dont fit in either, or at least not into this part. People who have jealousy, are blinde for the most important things : to love and being loved, friendship, honesty...etc.
l know, it hurts what they say, but they have as well something hidden why are they suffering, and this suffer that makes them so rude.
There is nothing you can do - just to be proud of yourself, because you have done so much so far.
You are great - no doubt about that!

Blesses,

Roberta

Judy said...

THE LORD IS WITH YOU,
GOD BLESS YOU ALWAYS, CGSBGS!!!

richy said...

Very touching story, and very inspirational. Its almost scary cause i see alot of myself in that story. 2 days after my first daughter was born my godfather died in the line of duty at the age of 33. I was guilt ridden with the birth of my daughter cause the rest of my family was in so much pain. Now i have 3 children and there why i live and breath. Its almost like a breath of fresh air to read your story. Im currently 27 and financially not doing so well. Just providing the basic necessities is tough. Sometimes it seems every door is closed. But it is refreshing to no that i am not alone in my struggle. Its nice to see there are still people out there with values and not so superficial. I am glad i came across your youtube page because your words are truly inspirational when in need of an uplift. Thank You!

Lj said...

Thank you for that. It is much needed today where values are crumbling. I admire your strength and I am in love with your work. As a young wannabe-designer/artist/? It has given me a new inspiration.
Thank you, and may God bless you and your family.

Shawn Conn said...

You're a kick ass artist Chris and obviously a kick ass father, husband, human being.

I've had nothing as near tragic as your story. I grew up poor, which tends to infuse a certain amount of humility, but when I was in high school I did become that proud, egotistical artist.

Luckily, for the couple of years I did go to college, I had a freshman drawing teacher who gave me my 1st "F" ever on an art project. When queried about it, he told me my art was fantastic. The "F" was for my over-inflated ego and the lack of trying to be better that comes with it.

I remind myself everyday now that I'm always learning, there are always those who blow me away & I can learn from and humility keeps me hungry for more.

Thanks for the reminder.

Phil said...

Congratulations for your work. I'm 45 and i'm a french composer. Your story moved me deeply. Moreover, as many artists, computers changed my life, but learning still stays the goal, and humility still is the road ;o) Wish you the best.
Philippe Rey

Hector N. said...

Congratulations, you are the kind of artist determined by nature to be a Master. HN Podhainy. www.artepod.com.ar

Kyle said...

I'm not even sure what to say, I feel like I should say something. I'm a 21 year old artist finishing up his BFA (focus on digital, and figure), The entire time I was watching your you tube sketches I was think.... awful thoughts. I knew your work wasn't fake, but Jealousy and vanity provoke me to move forward to strive for something different. Getting a head up on the competition through spreading ideas in a unique way is a satisfying feeling. Hearing your story, understanding that motivation can come from different sources other than benefiting myself is a strange concept one that I don't understand. Your life has seen things I can't even begin to compare myself with, I'm sure I'll forget this feeling I have now and return to my regular habits tomorrow, or later but this is something new thank you for writing this. Oh and fuck you and your talent, asshole :)

Hopegiver said...

Dont know if you still post here but wanted to say thank you for sharing your words, they too are art!

Ivan said...

I don't know if you will get to read this, but anyway I wanted to thank you for sharing your story. I am going thru a similar stage in my life and my family life where is hard to see where we are heading and I am not certain how I can translate my talent into income, I don't think I'm as good as you are and what I do is a bit different. Anyway, reading your blog gives me hope and fills me with joy, because I see that you are a person and that is more than I can say for many other artists who I have tried to reach asking them for just a bit of advice, just a small hint of direction is all. I hope one day I get to chat with you even if briefly, in the meantime thanks again for sharing your story and I hope the best for you and your family.
Ivan Bautista ivandadajet@gmail.com

Azurehypnock said...

My first comment on Blogger.com. Very nice panting. The story was quite interesting due of not only your detailed story of your artist career, but also of the complication to being a popular painter in the youtube channel due of very arrogant peoples who post the insulting comments on your great artworks like "Terrible", "Cheater", "This bad art" and something like this.

fef said...

This is a good post, change artist to computer programmer(iPhone app store is where I get my feedback but same thing), your brother to my son, and autism to epilepsy and we have traveled similar paths. I wonder if in another 20 years we'll look back at the 30 somethings we were and go, "Boy were those guys dumb..." Bet we do ;)

nice post

Kuru said...

This was Truly inspiring..I hope you achieve greater success in your career! I can understand your difficulties with your child, because I went through a similar situation with my father who had Alzheimer's, and he too had to be watched constantly and for the last few years of his life he became like a child.

I am trying to get into a field of medical illustration...if you have the time please check out my work

http://kuru4k.deviantart.com

I would really like some professional critique and ways to improve myself.

Pimpmobile said...

Good point. Well, i think is not that bad being a little proud of something you do great - and belive me, your artwork is great, stumbled onto it on youtube and i just couldnt believe it - but Pride is actually a sin ¬¬, isn't it? Too much and it blurs your sight and your heart, been there, done it, and got screwed already. I see myself as your bad bad proud version of yourself on your twenties the only difference is i didnt got married nor had children yet. I hope my personal 'growth" to be less tragic, but it is already being dramatic. Oh yea about your artwork: I think it is amazing and inspiring. I like drawing myself on pencil and paper but i just SUCK coloring, i think it messes up all the drawings (blurring the countours and graphity all over), yours look fantastic. I should seriously learn how to work with digital software... The best of luck.

Lola said...

I hope someday I can refer to this comment, and say I learnt something from an artist like you. Although I know I don't know much about art yet. I hope to learn and blossom to your level in future.

HERNAN YEPEZ PINTANDO said...

Hola Chris mi nombre es Hernan Yepez tengo 42 años vivo en Cali Colombia la primera vez que vi tus videos quede impactado, tambien soy artista y profesor, la vida ha sido muy dura a veces pero queda la satisfaccion de saber que luchamos hsta el final , tu trabajo es muy inspirador!!! me gustaria ser tu amigo para intercambiar arte de alguna manera, mi correo es : artehernanyepez@hotmail.com.

千TatianaCallan惠 said...

文章雖然普通,但意義卻很大~~^^~~ ..................................................

champchampwaggy said...

this was really inspiring your work is amazing and i love your outlook on life i hope that one day i can be as good a man as you and an equally good artist but I'm 21 so Ive still got a long way to go.

Tony Treloar said...

It's great that you realize what a blessing it is to be able to make a living off of creating art. So many artists out there never get their breaks no matter how hard they work.

yurik13 said...

I think,you-great ARTIST.Your work-are Amazing

António said...

thanks ...

chockito said...

Chris greetings from Greece. I didn't wanted to use harsh language but....the haters and the retards who leave negative comments in your channel need a good surgery in their fucking eyes. I used to sketch since very young (age of 4-5) now Im 28, I was looking for speedpainting on youtube one day when I found your channel, and you my man you are the reason that I want to learn how to use photosop/illustrator.
I wish the best for you and your family! take care and you got my respect.


ps.Sorry for my poor skills in English.

Simon Barnsley said...

Hi Chris. I recently found your YouTube channel, and I have to say, I think your work is inspiring. I'm an artist myself (although not to your standard), and found the humility you spoke of a few years ago. I was diagnosed with a brain tumor and thankfully had it removed before I lost my sight. My art suffered but you, and people like you are inspiring me to continue and better my art. I'm 46 and an admirer of your work. My thoughts and respect to you and your family.

Simon Barnsley
(UK)

Prog.Enthusiast said...

Wow, just wow. I can't believe I'm saying this but that left a tear in my eye. Trust me if I were to reveal myself you'd be very surprised to know who it is. Anyways, I've seen your videos on youtube before but I always thought they were fake, but now I realize after reading this blog that you actually have a God given ability to draw. I'm 20 years old whose expertise lies nowhere in the field of Arts, but am very interested. Where should I start, do I need college programs??
Thanks would be greatly appreciated.

Chris said...

Prog.Enthusiast;

I honestly don't know the answer to your question. It depends on you, who you are-- where your passions lie.

Honestly, I was never an "artist" first and foremost in life. But I would become so obsessed over things in life I liked (or loved) that I would draw them to be close to them. It was the passions of capturing those certain subjects on paper that made me into a skilled "artist".

Even in younger years, I drew a lot before I knew what art was.

That's just my own experience, though. I never took art classes or went to college but who knows what it could have done for me if I did... Or what it could do for you.

Chris

daemoz said...

Such a touching story, not that i felt sorry for you, i mean it is such amazing when everything seems to be cornering you but you just rise up from those tragedy.

It's not like all those talents were just given at one time, it must've took you a whole long time to be such an amazing artist like this (and experience also matters though). After reading this, and watched your videos, it kinda looked like all those speed paintings were telling about your long and difficult journey, there are sad times and good times which didn't happen at the same time, but i hope it would end up happy as great as the final result of your art work ^^

Oh, and i find it interesting with the processes you did. Most people used scratch line to help them measuring scale on their drawing, how on earth did you draw interesting piece of artwork without any line helpers. it just looked like magic to me, like a printing machine :D

Salve! said...

Your story is both touching and inspiring. I obtained a lot of motivation for my own life so I have nothing but admiration and gratitude for you.

sifi35lok said...

You are my hero...for your artwork of course,but most important for your life values and priorities.Don't listen to the bad things people say but keep on the good work![Sorry for my poor/bad English,I am from Greece,i hope you understand what i say!!!!!

Jing ho said...

Your art awesome I am also starting to learn DMA , your art work inspired me and all the best to you and your family =D

zunfeng said...

I stumbled onto one of your youtube video recently and it was really awesome! It was then that I decided to take a look at your youtube channel which brings me to this entry. After reading this entry, it really inspires me to work harder in brushing up my techniques in art. I don't believe I have any talent in art even though I really love it very much. It sometimes demoralizes me badly when I saw how some of my schoolmates in art class could come up with such a beautiful art piece in comparison to mine.

I'm 17 currently and hoping to get into the animation industry in the near future. Granted that it might not be easy for me, your video and story has been very motivational for me...

Thanks so much for sharing those awesome video, and I pray for that all will sail smoothly for your family :)

Blog said...

wow. I literally stumbled upon your blog and I already have so much respect for you. I AM that 20-something guy who thinks he's "the-stit". I'm trying to start my career as an artist, but I'm always plagued with the questions of my future. I am not trying to sound cocky, but nearly everyone that is close to me has never given good advice- it's always been "you're career is set" or "you've got nothing to worry about" because they think I'm so good. Lucky for me, I'm a little bit addicted to the internet... So I've learned just how common my skills are. Where I'm from, there's really not a lot of "photorealistic" artists, so of course to the people around me, I seem extremely unique. But as I've built a web page with a list of links to all the different photorealistic/hyperrealistic artists that are out there, I've just been blown away. I am self-taught with an airbrush, so I use the techniques of oil painting to do my paintings... they take me several months to do a large-scale piece. Other practicing artists of my same age use airbrush techniques that I'm vaguely aware of, and seem to do work that is just as good in mere weeks. I try to be humble, because I'm aware of the fact that life doesn't roll out a red-carpet, but I still fear that I'm not taking proper precautions with my life. Sorry I'm just rambling all this to you, but reading your post "humility" just really hit me hard. I have a serious girlfriend with a 2-year old, and I have no paying job, so naturally it's quite frightening.

I am torn with my views on "airbrush artists" (that's what all my instructors at art school called them). Basically you're taught in art school that you are learning the "ways of the masters" and anything else is crap. I was actually told by one of my instructors that if I wanted my work to be taken seriously by the art world, I needed to do it in oil paints rather than an airbrush... yet I look around and it does not matter what tools you use, it's the artwork that you create. Yes, there are some "art theories" that are ignored with a lot of the airbrush artists I've seen, but they still pull off the same illusion. And when it boils down to it, it does not matter how a magician pulls a rabbit out of his hat- all that matters is that he did it. And that's all realism is. (as far as computer photorealism, power to you- I am of the generation that should know computer art techniques and I'm overwhelmed by it.... It blows my mind and Im glad that it does)

Anyway, you seem like a truly amazing person, and I wish you all the best,

Nate Baldwin

Napoli Final and Etc. said...

Thank you so much for this post...as a 20 something who currently is experiencing something very similar, and still has that sort of arrogance in feeling he knows it all...this really opens my eyes. I have to realize that there is always room for improvement in all things and that being comfortable with the way things are does nothing but stop my progression as an individual. I was struggling with understanding this concept until today, but thanks to your post I think I can somehow grow from my current life situation...

Thank you so much for this...from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

BEN said...

Hey Chris,

Really amazing artwork. And your post goes straight to the heart. My heart.

No - Im not gay ;)

Kind regards from germany and all the best for you and your family!

Sven

NickZ. said...

May God bless you and your family in this new year as you are blessing others by sharing your work and your life.

Peace,

NickZ. :)

bigsheepmeister said...

Thank you so much for the inspiring words. I think you are one of the most talented artists I have seen. Thank you for all the beautiful artwork you have given to us. Thank you for being inspiration to your followers. Thank you!

Melissa said...

I find your story an inspiring and yes...humiliating one. I am an aspiring artist. Young and born into the technology age where teens seem to be built for distractions. There appear to be limitless possibilities for art and other fields. One can do so much with computers, but even the growth of technology makes me a little sad. In my mind, nothing can replace the simple knowledge of pen and pencil.

The story of your daughter is endearing to me. I have a brother, who is now twelve, who was also diagnosed with autism at the age of three. He has made leaps and bounds since that age. Everyday he grows more and more independent, and I know without his influence on me, I would not have the patience, compassion, or humility I feel for others now. He is an incredible kid.

As far as the criticism from others, all I have is admiration for your work. I am experiencing my own artistic growing pains and will look at the work of other artists and think, "How did they do that!?!" Heh, I suppose it will all come in time with dedication and patience.

Thank you for sharing your story. Best of luck!

RisingUp said...

Hi Chris,
My name is Cecil. I'm a senior in high school and will be attending a four year art college in August. I found your videos on youtube and was impressed by your knowledge, but that is not why I'm commenting you. After reading your "Humility" post it became very evident to me that you know who you are as an artist/person. It's just that I'm going to be trying to make a career(try to survive) out of art. I know that to do this I'll probably have to go to some kind of computer art that pays high. I think if I do, I will lose a part of what is most important to me as an artist. Which I can't put a word to it but its the physical part. Like having paper and pencil, and using my hands. It just makes me feel like I am putting more emotion into my work. Sorry I'm being so vague. But anyway I'm just asking you to maybe give me your opinion/facts about computer art. Or simply give me and advice you are willing to. Thank you for your time.

Alejandro Gomez said...

Chris,

I came to you because of your dragons videos on youtube, then I saw your portfolio, then your blog, then this article.
Man! your work is at least AWESOME!
And this post, I was almost crying when reading it, is very touching, and mainly honest.
Congratulations for your learning path, your art and talent and the way you told you faced the "weird" and unpleasant things in life.

Peace

Chris said...

Not too long ago I was playing around on the computer with my sons looking for pictures of dragons and dinosaurs. We clicked on one of your time lapsed drawings and we were entranced. My oldest son has autism and I recognized the emotions you felt when you found out about your daughter. We struggled to get as much therapy that we could afford (not much I'm afraid. I can't believe what they charge!). Things are a struggle sometimes but all in all I am very blessed. Both of my boys are unique and when I watch my oldest son make his way in the world with all the obstacles life has given him I am in awe. Would I be able handle the things he deals with every day so well? I doubt it. Anyway, he has always wanted to be an artist(he's seven) and I see you work now reflected in his drawings. We use your web site as a reward when he meets his goals. He is a very big fan of yours, as am I. My best to you and your family.

pa1ntingpics said...

My younger brother was diagnosed with Autism when he was three years old (he's about to turn six in May)and it's been a struggle seeing him developing so different from the rest of my brothers and sisters. He is completely unresponsive, and my family doesn't have the resources to invest in the expensive treatments that, as you said, the insurance companies DO NOT pay for.
As a rising college freshman, who plans to major in studio art and eventually specialize in animation, I admire your work, and I empathize with your family.
I wish you all the best.

hui922 said...

Im 18 and have been keeping track of your work for at least 2 years, :D trying to get to the same level you but still have alot to learn :/ . You are really one of the few guy that i respect alot in aspect of skills . Anyway its unfortunate that your daughter has autism but in any case shes pretty sweet and im sure she makes you smile everyday :) . Anyway all the best , may ME surpass you somedays XD .

"Stingray" Loh said...

Pretty long, but I do agree with you on this. Great work.

Neil said...

well let me say chris,

60 minutes ago I was doing my animation lecture. 45 minutes ago I was watching demo animation on youtube then I saw your videos.
20 minutes ago I was fully engulfed in your Dragon Speed drawings.
10 Minutes ago I came across your website, and about 2 minutes ago I started reading your Blog.


I'm 21, an Animation Student, and struggling to get by my fine arts class - but when I see your work it is DAM INSPIRING!
I'm almost ashamed to say I didn't know this type of skill existed out there. Don't let haters take you down, especially the 20 something year olds, because as many as there are I promise theres at least 3 times as many that love your love and possibly the same amount who are inspired by you as I am.

I have an old tablet that I bought over a year and a half ago that I used once to doodle, but I want to let you know. The past hour has changed my life. I'm serious, I'm dedicated to practice my digital art - I do with Maya everyday but now I have an excuse to meld my photoshop skills (how ever little of it I have) and my growing fine arts skills.


Yea the digital age as taken over, its daunting, all the time, and how cut throat the industry is, but youve adapted well and I hope I can too.

And thanks for the amazing art you shared with all of us. Seriously.

-Neil Patel

Bienna Song said...

This blog post is such an inspiration, much like your art.
It's great to see an artist mature in style, and better to see a person mature through struggle and faith. Keep using your avenues of expression, whether through art or voice or just being the head of your family, to bring Jesus glory :)

God bless~
To think that He drew, knitted, and crafted each of your family members, including you and Sarah in the womb - and found joy in drawing every detail of you. :)
I think you'd know what that joy of creation feels like ;)

Bienna Song said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nico said...

HUMILITY? How about GENEROSITY. You share your technique and your thought process with the world in your youtube videos. You are a TEACHER to those who are humble enough to view your work in timelapse progress with an open and adaptive mind. Thank you :)

Nico said...

HUMILITY? How about GENEROSITY. You share your technique and your thought process with the world in your youtube videos. You are a TEACHER to those who are humble enough to view your work in timelapse progress with an open and adaptive mind. Thank you :)

Nico said...

HUMILITY? How about GENEROSITY. You share your technique and your thought process with the world in your youtube videos. You are a TEACHER to those who are humble enough to view your work in timelapse progress with an open and adaptive mind. Thank you :)

cpre said...

Achk, Those 20 something egocentric all knowers, I have a saying I like that shows more about them than you:

"The world is a looking glass and gives back to every man the reflection of his own face." (William Makepeace Thackeray)

You are a genius and like any artist taught outside academia, you must prove yourself as you do in forums like UTube. I for one don't listen to criticism only take constructive ones to heart.

Ellen K said...

Thank you for your candor. I teach high school art. I have some talented students, some of whom think they are the Next Big Thing. I have tried to explain to them that anyone can learn to draw, but it takes life experience to make an artist. To say I am in awe of your talent is an understatement. I am an old school, Prismcolor and underlay illustrator who has just fiddled with the new grant provided Intuos boards. I could no more create the kinds of images you produce than grow another head. I think such raw talent is God given. And I like to think God gives these talents to those who can best use them. I hope you won't mind if I share your youtube clips with my classes. Thank you for sharing.

art teacher said...

That was the most inspirational thing I have read in a long time. Thank you for sharing.

Bento said...

Hi there, my question concern your daughter episode.. three years is an advanced age,you already get many feedbaks from the child by then, was that a surprise for you or something you already had a perspective could be? My question is because I have a todler girl, so you already know what is to have a life of concerns. All the best for you and your family. Great job.

Jazz Siy said...

Thank you for sharing this sir. You don't know how much it affects us, younger generation to hear realizations like these from veteran artist like you.

Godbless sir.

KURVstudios said...

What an incredible story Chris, you are truly blessed sir!

Very inspiring and a good piece for young artists today, or anyone in there 20's working in a competitive industry.

Thanks!

Wes

diva42 said...

I just viewed your portrait of Sarah on You Tube very impressed with it.

I just wanted to thank you for sharing your journey here, life does take us all on many unexpected turns, funny I was looking on You Tube for how to adjust my brush settings for use with my cheap wacom bamboo pen tablet to get a better understanding and found your wonderful portrait.

I am by no means as talented but you gave me some inspiration as to what can be achieved with this medium.

All the Best, Lisa

Louis said...

Thank you for sharing your amazing story. You found a wonderful way to look at this world. Instead of looking at what someone can do, rather look at the person who did it. What is their story. What is the "reason" behind them. That means so much more than what talents they have.

At least that's what I'm taking away from the post :)

Amazing! Thank you!

Nelly said...

That is very nice from you to share your story for the young people to learn from it but you know, sadly sometimes even if the information is in front of them they won't understand it because their thirst for climbing up is that big, and that is ok too! after all is young people that have the biggest impact in changing this world! But I am also were you are at this point in your life almost 40 and realizing how fool I was when I thought I had the world by the ..... (well you know what) .

Now as far as your art being not as good as you say, I am not so sure because I have nothing to compare but I am going to take a guess here and just say art is probably like music and you are just writing a chapter in the book of what the world was like in your life and around yours at that time line.... It is all good in the end!

As far as your art now and what you have on youtube I will say I am a new fan :) very nice in deed! Keep the good work up and I am subscribing at your page...

Good luck in everything you do
Nelly

Wakas Mir said...

Good luck with your life and your amazing art.. this post is so wonderful just like the way you are taking care of your daughter. :)

SparkleDooo said...

Your videos really inspired me to pursue my dreams and this post has inspired me even more. No one is perfect, but you are an example of the things that make life beautiful. I am almost 19, and if I ever forget the importance of humility or hit hard times, I will have your words in my head to help keep me grounded and get me through.

Casey James Basichis said...

Very moving article. Your devotion is admirable.

Evil-Devil said...

I stumbled on this entry as i was looking at your Youtube profile to admire more of your work. As totally untalented in that area I am impressed each time again i see someone with such skills.

While reading this blog entry I had to thought of my mum who had a rough time the last years. Divorced from my old man, found a new living partner, seemed to have found the next happy life and been thrown back to zero on discovering that the new love had cancer.
In the end all hope we had was crushed and lost =(

So I really hope for you and your family, that everything despite the hard times in past and hopefully less in future, will become less hard and you can have a good time together.

yours sincerely,
Benjamin (Germany)

Bl4ckSpirit said...

That's exactly the secret of life. I'm an introvert and I got the same conclusion from real life experience. The more you take pride into yourself, into what you are capable of, into what you are, the harder it will hurt.

Pride is the biggest obstacle on the road to success.

Humility, pridelessness, nonviolence, tolerance and simplicity; the top 5 secrets to succeed in life.

-Bl4ckSpirit

youheardthenerd said...

I actually feel quite sorry for any individual that has to try and belittle others, especially over such a raw talent like what you have.
Jealousy is never a nice thing but sadly its part of human nature.
Personally I'm thankful for artists who have better knowledge than me, as it means I have something to aim for. You have such a wonderful talent especially with drawing fantasy, I'm so glad I came across your youtube page.
It's fuelled me with the will to learn more about digital art and has really given me a belief that I can do it. I really am thankful for artists such as yourself. I look at your incredible work and I have learnt so much by just watching your videos. I look at the comments here and on your youtube page and I see so many people feel inspired like me by your work. I have nothing but high respect for you actually writing what you feel and being so open and honest. After my dad passed away from cancer I felt as if I would never draw again, I felt a part of me went with him and just lost the will to do anything. Its artists like you that brought me around after such a hard part in my teen years and actually made me snap out of it and pick up a brush again. All I can say is reading this has not only been beautiful but also made me remember my promise to my dad about continuing with art and for that I thank you.
Thank you for inspiring me to be the best I can be as an artist. I wish the best for you and your family and look forward to seeing more of your work in the future.
Thank you so much :).

rock995 said...

Wonderful words. From YouTube, I went to your website, from there to this blog. I realize now, at 65 years of age and a "successful" artist that I, too spent my 20's AND my 30's in a critical, narcissistic haze. Whenever I had a setback, and life always provides us several I thought I bounced back as a better person only to realize that I still had more to overcome internally. Today, I'm much more comfortable seeing the successes of some of my fellow artists and less smug about their setbacks but I don't know if that comes from insight or just hormonal shifting to a more "mellow" gear later in life and I guess in the end it doesn't matter so much how one gets to a better place but that one can get there by seeing visible improvement as the years go by. I used to think I was sooo good in the 80's but now I see all that old stuff and see so many mistakes...it's embarrassing. Now in these uncertain times, the future doesn't look so good for Americans to be spending nearly as much on luxuries--and, as portrait painters, we are in the Luxury Business, yes? Following your example, I've decided to diversify. I like the way you kept plugging away, trying to make it as a freelancer and sort of reinvented yourself with the storyboards until your other considerable abilities were finally appreciated. Today, I find that a lot more people can part with $20 to $200 (the price of a caricature to a digital portrait) than can spend $2000 to $20000 (the price range of my portraits) and I'm thinking "this guy Chris Scalf did it, I can do it too..I'm not too old yet". By that I mean that I'm putting my oil paints away for part of the week and the rest of the time I'm devoting to learning how to use this new Compaq/HP Tablet PC and Alias Sketchbook Pro (I already know a little Photoshop) so I can perhaps augment my income with some digital work. I never want to retire anyway, so why not?
I find myself looking on YouTube at some of the young people (compared to me, EVERYBODY is young!!) with some digital skills and I'll watch their vids about how they develop their work. I'm noticing people like yourself or Jason Seiler or Sparth, etc. and I think it's beginning to sink in just a little into my old dog skull. "Scalf did it. He just wouldn't quit and taught himself to do this because he was willing to put in the hours to get there." Or that's what I'm telling myself. Your piece on Humility was truly inspiring, Chris, and I thank you for posting this for us. Sincerely, Rock. (aartist d*t c*m) ps., do you have any kind of formal tutorials out there that maybe spell things out for digital noobs like me? Sure would love to go through 'em! You're a great artist. 8 History will certainly prove that. Thank you so much.

Andy said...

A beautiful story...
I wonder, did u pray for your daughter?
Miracle still exist, if u believe...
God bless... c",)

pablolanztl said...

I said I hate you in some of your videos, but that's something I say to people I like their work.. I guess it means I'm will never be like you becouse I can't...
best wishes

youtube.com/pabloko09

gilean said...

hola que tal ? soy leandro
me gusta mucho lo que haces y te juro que me gustaria que me enceñes=)

Christine said...

Some people are just jealous. It takes innate talent, plus years of hard work and thousands of hours of time practicing and experimenting to achieve what you have. The haters have personal challenges, they don't really hate you at all. They probably are just daunted by the prospect of what they must face in order to fulfill their own dreams.

rock995 said...

what haters?

RoseDragon said...

You are a great person Mr. Scalf. I would like to post longer comment but you already hit on all I would say :) .

Naved Haqqi said...

Your work is truly inspiring and so is your story. I generally shy away from commenting on blogs and posts, but your story has spurred some thoughts as it is quite similar to a friend who is raising a 12 year-old autistic son. One of her biggest concerns is exactly what you are working towards, her son's future financial and social security.

I may be preaching to the quire, but it seems that more parents such as yourself could get together and look into creating some sort of cooperatives. When many heads are put together and a genuine concern and purpose is there, miracles can happen.

There's got to be ways and I hope and wish that every parent finds one.

Best!

Mela said...

Thank you for sharing your life and experience, so we can learn and avoid some of the pitfalls of pride!
I admire your not giving up and taking the leap when you left your job... Right now I am learning from a certain Curry Blake and John G.Lake about going to the root of problems, especially health wise, and it seems that there is no limit to healing, if we get to the root, and it is for free. I would love to see your daughter Sarah healed, and I know it is possible. I am starting to let God's spirit of life flw through me and people and even animals are getting healed. Why not try it. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Pleae see: for example http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJrM_b573bE I pray for you and your family. I copied your "Arrogance blinds us. We close the doors to better learning because we believe we are already there. " and would like to use it, is that okay?

All the best and a healing miracle for Sarah to you, Manuela

mrsargenti said...

Mele Kalikimaka, Brah! (:

Joseph mp Gleespen said...

My name is Joseph Im 14 and have always loved to draw dragons and scifi/fantasy things.ive been drawing since i was 3 yrs old. haha it seems like a lifetime ago. Im just getting into digital art using an intuos4 wacom and photoshopCS. Anyway I looovvve your art esp. the dragons. Id love to now the tecnique for the photorealism for instance the phone drawing I thought it was a photo! I am extremely sorry about your brother and iI hope you and your family have a good year. And merry christmas or the day after cause thats when im posting this message . if you could respond that would be super if not I understand completly .your work is truly beautiful and dont mind the haters :)))))))

Joseph mp Gleespen said...

My name is Joseph Im 14 and have always loved to draw dragons and scifi/fantasy things.ive been drawing since i was 3 yrs old. haha it seems like a lifetime ago. Im just getting into digital art using an intuos4 wacom and photoshopCS. Anyway I looovvve your art esp. the dragons. Id love to now the tecnique for the photorealism for instance the phone drawing I thought it was a photo! I am extremely sorry about your brother and iI hope you and your family have a good year. And merry christmas or the day after cause thats when im posting this message . if you could respond that would be super if not I understand completly .your work is truly beautiful and dont mind the haters :)))))))

Lee said...

Hi Chris,

When I first stepped into the world of digital painting your You Tube videos were a huge influence on my current technique. I’m still in awe at them and am nowhere near hitting your 3 hour marks for such quality! I recently read this post and it was like another wake up call. I used to be quite cocky myself in regards to my art work, always top of the class and expecting to walk into a job and such. But I’ve had my confidence ground down to a nub thanks to this recession.

Four years out of university and still no job! Hugely different from the life I envisioned for myself. But these hard times have changed everything. How I work, how I approach people and how I am in day to day life. Though there’s a lot to say for the positive aspects of humility, I have to tip my hat to the ambition of arrogance. I genuinely don’t think I’d still be here, promoting myself, improving my portfolio and going to conventions if I weren’t a little egotistical.

It’s a scary prospect to know that if you do nothing, nothing will happen. The career isn’t coming by itself. And that’s the main thing humility has taught me, that no one will give it to me. As for haters who pollute your channel, be flattered by jealousy and envy, its how arse holes admire.

I think arrogance and humility are like the angel and the devil on your shoulder. You have to listen to both but at the right time.

If you’re interested, I’d really like to hear what you think of my work, considering I have to thank your videos for most of my technique.

www.shothotdesign.com

photoguy1954 said...

Hi Chris, I just stumbled on to your work, which led me to your website which led me to this blog. I found it to be very honest and touching, you are so right in what you say. Everyone one of us will go through devastating times which will bring us down to our knees. Wisdom is a gift that comes with insight and the right attitude and I found it so refreshing that you have both. A friend of mine's granddaughter is autistic so I have a little bit of an idea of the challenges you and your wife must face on a daily basis.

As far as your art work is concerned, I think you're absolutely amazing!!! I have always been interested in art since I was a child and found that if I practiced enough, I was not bad. Looking at your pieces yesterday and again today has inspired me at least to try it again. I have a video from Betty Kennedy and I will use it for practice. I also do a lot of photoshop so its off to buy a Wacom Intuous 5 which will serve two purposes, working on my images and practicing drawing the human face. Thanks for being a great inspiration

cojo9999 said...

I still have your Ratt n Roll picture you drew me in high school. Thanks for the memories. ~ Colleen.

Where do I stand? Right here!!!

Mo said...

Waw...I visited your website 100 times before I came here. I was a huge fan of yours before, specially cause you always seemed to be humble, showing your technics to everybody and bla, bla, bla (only a few good artist do that)...But now, omg, lol...The way you exposed yourself, telling us about your story and your difficulties, your fear..
When we look at a huge construction, we think "this is definitely amazing", is hard to imagine that, once, the construction was just a project.
Congrats, my mother and I wish the best for you and your family.

*I'm soooo sorry for my horrible english, haha xD

North Inspiration said...

Outstanding.

Your a very wise and smart man, with that ability to tolerate whatever life throws at you, just like my dad, and many other adults out there.

I'm 15, and I consider myself to be an all right artist. But as you said,I will probably look back at my work when I'm older and think to myself "what a load of rubbish". (As I do now with some of my older work from when I was but a wee little lad). Anyway, your life-story has touched me and has opened my eyes to some new things. I know you haven't really aimed "humility" at my age group but I still understand a fair bit of it (or so I think I do?). Yeah, to the point... For most of my life I have only done art by just sketching and stuff but recently I have become involved in the digital art scene. I am practising with Photoshop, and as my skills build, I feel as if I can draw more detailed and more realistic. Ever since I was very very young, I have always had the urge to draw things as realistically as I can and when something I create doesn't appear to be realistic... then that saddens me .I tend to doubt myself so I try harder next time I draw, and that usually helps?

Am I going in the right direction?
I am so very determined to make amazing art, but I'm not sure when it's actually amazing or not?. I'm not sure sometimes if people like my art for the effort I put in it, or for what it actually represents and the metaphorical meanings behind it?

Anyway, I love your art (and I don't usually find much appreciation for other's art because I'm very competitive, and don't worry, I wish I wasn't.). I am able to idolise you as an artist, because I really see the potential learning I can recieve from your work. Thanks for reading
-Danny

North Inspiration said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DrJBoy said...

Wow. On so many fronts...

First, your artwork is absolutely breathtaking, and your techniques are inspiring my own kids on how "it is done". So, many congratulations and thanks for sharing your talent with the world.

Second, what an inspiring story, and one that I completely appreciate. Humility is something that isn't gained until, as you've illustrated, you've lost so much. I share a different set of circumstances from you, but the learning of life's lessons is virtually identical to the road that you took.

It will be interesting to see those haters and hubris-filled people that do nothing more than take shots from the sidelines as they begin their own life's trial by fire. Hubris is a terrible albatross, but one that virtually everyone eventually must lose to truly become a better person.

Smile; you've made a very positive impact on many people's lives out here in cyberdom. Thanks for sharing your experience.

Angela Tarantula said...

Chris, thank you for sharing this story. You have renewed an inspiration for me as an artist and I love how humble you are in your pursuit in a better life and your talent. There are far too many artist's out there too self assured, comfortable and egocentric. I thoroughly appreciate you being so honest about your background. I have lots of respect for you as an artist. I only hope to be able to create pieces as incredible as you. Thank you very much. - Angela Tarantula

Dave Chernin said...

Chris, Not many people have the courage in life to pick themselves up after being shot down. that's real success. im 45 years old and have realized the exact same thing as you. i have a very, very similar story. so similar it's scary. i just saw some of your youtube videos and think your talent is incredible. Your family are lucky to have such a strong husband, father and friend who will help them mold there own lives into something they can be proud of. life is about love, family and friends. everything else is bullshit. i sent you an email earlier this morning. i hadnt read your blog yet. i told my wife about you and she just smiled, saying, " see i told you there are people like you out there". immediately, i knew what she meant. hopefully one day we can talk. id enjoy hearing more of your story. you have my upmost respect and i wish you and your family many years of love and happiness... thank you for sharing... it took real guts... Dave Chernin

Fugu said...

Hi Chris,

thank you for sharing your story with us. I cant say how inspiring and helpful reading your story was. Really..on so many levels! And just in time for me and my current situation..

all the best for you and your family
-Chris W.

Joseph Gleespen said...

Joseph

I am an aspiring digital artist (only 15) right now, but I hope to make art my profession. I love your work i think it is absolutely amazing. You display amazing skill with your digital photo real images. I also love your traditional art it has a certain nostalgia for me.
I wish you all the best in the future and hope you continue your art for awhile yet.

christion.m iraca said...

Thank you for your testimony. Though your story is different then mine, it spoke to me. I felt maybe I could share it with you.

I am an artist that has been paralyzed by fear. I have spent a lot of time worried if I will be accepted (and not just for art). I got into a lot of trouble as a young man because of those anxieties, and linked criticism to my self worth.
I went to school for art (because I thought a degree would make me acceptable). Though I received awards from time to time, the university is where I learned that what I did (as an artist) had no value and my tastes (in art) were poor. Unfortunate to say the least.
I used 10 years and a fortune on books and supplies trying to learn what I thought would make everyone want me.(as a person or an artist)
I had lost myself, my vision, and my way. My desire to be accepted and loved damaged myself esteem, my creative vision, my intuition, and many relationships.
I have spent the last 12 years (since I graduated college) paying the bills by working with children that have Autism. I felt that not making a living as an artist was a punishment for the bad person I viewed myself to be. I also felt like I was a failure for never using my degree or talent.
2 years ago I accepted the grace of the Lord, Jesus. HE has given me new life, HE shows me HE values me. HE is healing my heart and showing me that I am doing good work with the children I work with. Since accepting HIS gift of salvation I have returned to the inspirations I loved as a child and work at drawing and painting for myself and those around me. It's not easy, but HE is there for me, making anything possible. HE has provided me with support, new opportunities to use my art, purpose and peace about my work with the children, and introduced me to a wonderful woman (getting married soon!) And now I enjoy drawing and painting.
In short; words can hurt one's pride, but pride (self pity, egotism, self determination, etc.) are the things that can keep us in darkness and sin. Humility is an important lesson.
I'm thankful God loves and blesses each of us.

Thank you for your story. God bless you.

أبو عقرب said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyBJT_dGops
is this drawn by you?
can teach me how you drawn it & i had a solution!
abo aqrab

ionel jinga said...

Deep words Sir. Respect . I perfectly understand the 20 ans so part of ego...been there still tryn everyday to be humble . I watch other artists and my colegues artists from colege with respect. thank you for your words again . ZRespect. Jinga Ionel, Constanta , Romania.

About the Artist...

Blah, blah, blah... (in other words, I'm still working on this part...)