Monday, November 24, 2008

Eventually I'll Find My Groove...


I am the most disorganized person I know. I'm a slob... I'm undisciplined. I am also a procrastinator who wants to give in to laziness. And at the same time while all of the above is true-- People like my art... Which causes a terrible conflict in and of itself... I'm horrible at keeping up with the web communications. Take this blog for example: Last dated entry; JULY. And then I also have a deviantart account which I also need to update.

Don't get me wrong--- I read everything on these things when people post, and check them on a regular basis--- It's just that I become overwhelmed with all of it and end up procrastinating it. I say tomyself, "I'll respond to that later.." And then forget about it.

On youtube, I have hundreds of unanswered messages that I just didn't get around to answering. It's not that I don't find these people important enough, but I think it is the other way around. On this end, I'm just a regular guy who has stumbled into something where people think I am more than I actually am. I have a pretty modest status as a regular person, and as an artist-- I really am nobody. Professionally, I make a good living as a "ghost" creative, being paid to illustrate and bring to life other people's ideas without ever getting any name recognition for it. But it doesn't bother me...

And I think that is my main problem. It's too easy. I'm a wimp. Instead of trying to make a name for myself, and attempting to BE somebody, I hide like a coward in the everyday anonymous routine of commercial art.

AS sort of a side thing, I found youtube a while back and noticed the "speed painting" thing artists were doing. I thought I'd try it out, for fun and to stimulate that artistic part of me that never gets free reign in my "day job" work... Well, here it is almost 2 years later, and that thing has really taken off. I'm a bit overwhelmed by it, because of the pouring in of respect and recognition I get from people, and the insane spike of hits my website gets because of it. But as a procrastinator, I'm afraid I'm constantly letting people down by not responding to them. The thought of that kills me... And I am sorry. If you are reading this, and you are one of those students who are in high school who write me with big hopes and dreams of becoming an artist tomorrow-- I apologize if I have not written back yet. Feel free to give me another nudge. I am working real hard to get my life in order as an artist.

Eventually I'll find that groove.. I'll find a routine. I have to. I'm getting close to 40, just had a third kid, and have a daughter with autism. I need to take this God given gift of art, and make it mean something. So it's time for me to come out of hiding... Time to stop being a coward, and move forward...

And to all who have stopped by to write me kind words of praise-- thank you. You over estimate me in your praise, but thanks. And to those who write questions, please be patient. I'll get to them... I promise.

(Oh, and the pic that I have with this message is just a side thing I did recently... An airbrush painting of my son. Check out my youtube channel to see a timelapse vid of it.)

7 comments:

WickedWumpus said...

Chris,

Thanks for the time that you put into letting us all into your world, even if you only update every few months. What's most inspiring to me are the videos that you put out of you working on your paintings. To take a simple Photoshop document and create a photo-realistic illustration out of a bunch of lines is truly amazing.

Thank you for sharing your gifts.

Arrowroot said...

I am sure that it is more than enough for most people that you write a journal entry like this. Majority of people will always tell you real life comes first before the Tinternets!
I find it very admirable you think so humbly of yourself, as I have come across many who are very arrogant and full of self importance with not even half the talent and skill you have. You seem like a wonderful person and I wish you all the good luck and well wishes in the real world :P

You are a very wonderful person to openly and freely share your talent in the way you have. Having those youtube videos really helps many other individuals learn indirectly to become better artists. and again I thank you for it :3

and about that airbrushing you did - i thought it was a photo at first >< I had to double check it!

Christa said...

Well, when it comes to replying to comments etc. I'm a slob too...and I think a lot of us are. On DeviantArt I always try to reply to both comments and say thank you if someone added my work as a favorite, but I can just as easily leave it for days and then finally forget about it if I get caught up elsewhere or in work.

Somehow I think that most people understand if you're busy. We all need to eat and pay the bills...I mean, just because you're an awesome artist doesn't mean that you should starve to reply to everyone :p Even if being a starving artist is the stereotype.

So don't get too stressed about that bit :)

robert chinchilla said...

I dont see you as a coward chris. if anyone is like that it should actually be me. i have a tendency to be shy around new people id love to make money just be asking people if they want a portrait for 20 to 30 dollars but im affriad theyll say no so i dont ask and not only that but theyll probably think im a bit to forward and weird i guess. and i have the same problem with updatig the website i havent visited my blogger in such a long time so i need to fix it too but the thing is i dont even know if people visit my blog so sometimes i say whats the point and i dont feel like doing it. -kasumisman from youtube and deviantart:)

robert chinchilla said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
jadedconformist said...

Stumbled upon your blog after visiting your website which I found after seeing one of your speed-painting videos.

As for that comment you feeling like a wimp and downplaying your brilliance, you seem to be confirming studies done on the Dunning-Kruger effect. I'm sure if you don't have time to respond that you might not even check out the entry in wikipedia, but that's fine. Don't be hard on yourself. Take care of yourself. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning-Kruger_effect

skando72164 said...

I saw your you tube video and I still don't know what to say your amazing and humble. At least your working and making a living with your art I've taken procrastination to a higher level I was feeling sorry for myself today 45 stay at home mom never fulfilled my dream of being a working artist I have tons of art supplies sitting in a closet but I'm afraid I wont be able to draw but every time I start drawing I'm even better than before. I make a lot of accuses I have a 7 year old son with autism and also a 12 year old who is severely handicapped weird how I found this blog tonight I think I needed to read this from someone so talented as you that you have the same issues that we all have and its alright I think I may play on photoshop tomorrow and take those art supplies out thanks susan

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