Scalf Sketchbook

Star Wars: Blood Ties -- A Tale of Jango and Boba Fett #1 :: Profile :: Dark Horse Comics

2010-08-25T09:03:00.002-04:00

In stores today.

Star Wars: Blood Ties -- A Tale of Jango and Boba Fett #1 :: Profile :: Dark Horse Comics

HUMILITY.

2009-12-30T09:56:00.013-05:00

Here I am almost 40, and looking back it sure has been a long bumpy road getting to where I am. But "where I am" is really not much different from where I started. Except one thing: huge doses of humility... And that is probably more than anyone can ask for.

On my youtube channel, sometimes I get some real doozies in the realm of negative comments. When it comes to haters, they are what they are. There's no rationalizing them. But I have noticed that apart from the blatant haters, there are other types of people who post negative comments that seem to be motivated in a different way than some of these haters. Sometimes, I will click on their username just to see their profile and try to get a sense of who this person is and what's bugging them.

Some of them are very publicly open to who they are in their identity. I find a lot of them that are college aged or in their twenties, often dabbling in (or their main interest is) art. a lot of times their comments are directed at my techniques in art, (especially the digital realism) in which they seek to discredit my work as "nothing special" or "cheating", etc.

The first thing that comes to mind, is for me to remember when I was in my twenties. There was no youtube back then, and similar internet forums weren't as large as they are now-- but it was pretty much the same mentality... Instead of the web, there were just the real public venues such as conventions, trade shows, etc. where large numbers of artists often attended and got acquainted with one another. The same competitive egos existed back then. And I was one of them.

Even I remember thinking thoughts of superiority in my mind when comparing myself to other artists. (But due to certain upbringing, I wasn't as blatantly out-loud about it as some of the others.)

I remember feeling quite "high on my horse" about my so called talent back then. I remember thinking how superior I was because I got a few breaks in publishing in the comics industry and because I thought I was a pretty good photo-real airbrush artist. But then strange things happen in life... You think you grow up when you turn 18 and have to register for the draft.. But often sometimes there is a second "growing up" period that comes along. And sometimes it isn't so pleasant. And it seems like the more proud and cocky you are, the more unpleasant it is.

For example, my growing up period took place as I exited my twenties. Already married, and having my second child (a daughter) the pivotal day of growing up happened the day after she was born. My younger brother Richard was shot and killed in the line of duty as a police officer. So ironic... I remember Sarah (my daughter) being recorded as the same birth weight and height as he was when he was born (and she actually came a couple weeks earlier than projected. Allowing my brother to be there to see her before he was taken). We kidded around with him and tried to get him to hold her, but he refused saying, "there's plenty of time for that". Next day- he was gone.

I remember the next two years being so dark. The sudden death of Richard brought on severe nightmares, with blood soaked images involving bad people and the murder of my family and primarily my children. Richard had a strong closeness with my son Brandon, who at that time was only 2, which seemed to trigger cross-over nightmares involving Brandon being horrifically murdered. When one of the news broadcasts of the shooting of my brother had another officer describing the amount of bleeding form my brother before he went limp, it triggered some awful horror images in my mind and fed these awful nightmares... They went on for a while causing extreme anxiety and depression mixed with fear and paranoia. For those couple of years, I would not let my family go anywhere without me... Not even a short trip to the store down the road.

Other areas of life seemed to be getting pretty rough. Work had started to disappear a while before that tragedy. But things got progressively worse as the computers took over art in commercial art industries. Financially, we were in shambles. It was a very panicky time as I watched my family struggle to be fed, and guilt and realization about my own abilities as an artist brought me to my knees. With computers ruling the industry, and me not having ANY talent/skill what so ever besides my airbrush and paint-brushes- what was I worth? How did I let this happen? I never went to school or college.. I was as naive as they come.

The only thing I could try and do was learn computers as fast I could. There was a decent amount of insurance money that was awarded to families of fallen officers, from which I was able to invest in a computer. I tried to learn it as fast as I could at that time, and finally got enough knowledge to get a job at a small local studio that specialized in digital imaging/retouching for ad agencies. However, there was still a lot OJT that was required, and since that was the case I was hired at only about a third of what people in that position made at that time.

Finances were slow to recover, as raises on the job only made it to about half of the standard industry rate before the next big life changer would cause me to change paths once again. My daughter, (at age 3 by that time) was diagnosed with autism. In a typical parental reaction, we of course panicked and scrambled to find out what (if anything) we could do. Unfortunately, insurance did not (DOES NOT) cover autism, and it's treatments. There were some therapies that were known to statistically improve a child's condition, but they were IMMENSELY expensive. And to add to that, it was said that the therapies were only effective if you did as much as possible before age five.

I was unable to get the raise I needed from work, and with our current debts there really was no choices available to us. With what little money we could squeeze for the most minimum amount of therapies, it was calculated that we were gonna go under financially... SOON. We had just bought a house, and were barely able to get it and were threatened to lose it already. (Small price to pay to try and bring your child's mind into this world). So- since we were already doomed no matter what financially, I quit my job.

In my mind, I figured that I was gonna go down slowly anyway- there was nothing to lose. But possibly MORE to gain if I took a gamble. Having now learned some computer knowledge and getting a feel for the commercial art industry, I calculated that there was a chance that I could MAYBE succeed as a freelancer once again. And if I did, there would be no groveling for a raise from anyone, but instead I would be in CONTROL. I could save our home and help our daughter's future.

Well... It wasn't that easy. I showed my portfolio for photoshop/digital work involving photo-real illustration as well as retouching that I had acquired during my 3 years at that job... But no one was biting. Too many competitors in town already offering that service... I was bringing nothing new to the table. (no one knew what the photo-real illustration was. They thought it was photographs, or just more of the retouching). Still, almost losing everything- things didn't start to turn around until about a year later. Even though I really didn't think my comic work in the nineties would be of any use, I included it in the portfolio in once last attempt. That was it. That did it. There was a huge need for storyboard and animatics artists since a few of the local art studios had closed down. The flood gates opened, and from there my other illustration abilities were finally noticed. I have been working steady, non-stop since.

Fast forward to today- We got as much therapy as possible for Sarah. She is now turning 11. She's a funny kid, lots of personality- and with what therapy were able to squeeze in- we can see it has helped. But she is still autistic. She tried to run away twice, both times being picked up at a busy intersection. (when I say "run away" I don't mean in the sense of trying to get away- more in a sense of "wandering off" without any sense of fear or "common sense" as we know it.)

..Because of that, our house is like Fort Knox. Windows bolted so that they won't open past 3 inches, alarm system, lots of safety locks and latches., etc. But it's normal for us. We are used to it. And the reality is that she will ALWAYS live with us. She can never be on her own. And with my God-given art talent, it is my responsibility to use it to create a future for her. Especially in case something happens to us. That's what I live for now, besides the normal providing for a family. My life as an artist is connected to making sure her future is safe, first and foremost. And we still have a long way to go... Especially now that the economy is so bad. But we are doing it. Steadily, and humbly.

Which brings my point full circle. Humility.... The chastening of life. That 20 something version of myself didn't know SQUAT. That puffed up ego that I had (and all other artists have at some given time) amounts to NOTHING compared to the fragility of life... And death. What's more, I see the work that I did back then when I thought I was "all that". It really wasn't all that good. Which makes me question my current work a lot more. Maybe it isn't as good as I might think it is.

But the biggest point in humility here is the respect for others above all else. The point to telling this story wasn't about "poor me". It wasn't to make you feel sorry for me. I'm fine. I am blessed. I told this story as an example to anyone else out there who is the equivalent to the 20 something version of me... All this that you see on my site-- my status as an artist-- it is all just worldly superficial crap. Everything could change tomorrow. It is what is behind that art- and WHY I do it that counts. I look back at my younger more arrogant self, and I realize that my perceptions of others and their work was SO WRONG. My perception of my SELF was wrong. No one knows what the other person is going through in their life- or is GONNA go through.

These young people that criticize my art technique, trying to equate it to nothing special---you have no idea how special it has become. Respect would be nice. But more than that, for your own sake- humility is a must. Had I realized my real status back then, I would have been able to see what I needed to do to prepare for my family's future. Certain things on that tough road would not have happened. Arrogance blinds us. We close the doors to better learning because we believe we are already there. When I was brought to my knees, it was almost too late- but once I opened my mind, I learned a whole new world of skill and talent in my ability as an artist- and continue to do so.

I try not to dwell too much on the fact that had I been more humble and allowed myself to learn at an earlier age, we could have bypassed the whole financial burden and could have very easily provided at least twice the therapy for Sarah, and sooner. But I guess everything happens for a reason, and with that I can at least share it with you and let it be an example to anyone whom it might help.

In comic stores today.

2009-11-25T13:43:00.001-05:00

My first Star Wars comic cover.

Photo Realistic Cat Painting! (digital... timelapsed)

2009-06-09T11:44:00.001-04:00

SciFi preproduction art- 3 hr digital paint...

2009-06-08T12:38:00.001-04:00

This one is a pretty much a preproduction painting for my own animation. It is my own little "bad guy" character I made up for my Star Wars fanfilm experiment that I play around with when time permits. It's very fascinating for me to do pieces like this since there is absolutely NO reference, and barely any time to devote to it.. So once again,--as my average works seem to be-- it was around 3 hours to complete this and it is indeed time-lapsed for quick viewing.. It is a pretty good challenge since it has it's own little built in deadline, even though it is not for anyone but myself... I am trying to learn how to improve my speed art for projects like this since I will never be able to work on things like this for more than 3 hours. (usually I need to get up extra early like 4:30 am to get something like this done inside of my typical days.)

Anyway--

Photoshop CS on a Mac
with Wacom INtuos 3

Digital Painting Photo-Realism Again

2009-06-08T12:37:00.001-04:00

Art Scene...

2009-02-10T08:25:00.002-05:00

Sometime within the next month or so, this magazine hits the stands at stores like Borders, Barnes and Noble, etc. There's a pretty good dose of material from me in it including a "how to" section and a story about my escapades as an artist. I hadn't really pursued getting myself into publications like this, until now. As some of you know, I have a 10 yr old daughter with autism and my wife and I are quite involved in the autism community.

I recently made up my mind that if I am going to make any difference for this cause, I need to try a little harder about making a name for myself as an artist... Then, maybe I can have a stronger voice in helping the cause for awareness and making the world a better place for autistics. We are almost finished completing our non-profit official organization "Creative Alliance for Autism" as I continue to push to get some recognition to draw eyes and ears toward that organization. So spread the word! Spread the sites!
http://www.chrisscalf.com/
and
http://www.youtube.com/user/cgsbgs

I want to make a difference... Thanks!

Lots of new stuff on the way....

2008-12-30T18:28:00.003-05:00

I'm on a creative binge... On a mission. I have determined that my website is stale. It needs more NEW material on it. And so, as always-- I have found several pieces of art that are 80% finished sitting on my hard drive as well as several OTHER traditional art paintings in the same status that I just need to finish and get em up here!

In addition to that, I went ahead and started on a new digital painting today (pictured here with this post.). I put a few hours into it already, and it's almost done. You can be looking for it on youtube tomorrow, as a time-lapse vid of the art being created. You can see by the small image here how close to being done it is right now-- but I want to tighten the realism even more. Unfortunately, I have a nasty headache, I'll just finish it in the morning.

More to come, tomorrow!

I Need To Wake Up...

2008-12-29T08:07:00.003-05:00

I'm very tired. I haven't had a decent night's sleep in at least a few years... Or so I am told. I thought I was diabetic or something, when I went in to see the doctor a couple of months ago. I expected some kind of bad news... Everyday, for the last 2 years, I grew more tired, to he point where I felt like 5pm was 3 am. All I feel like doing ever, is sleeping. Turns out that I have what a condition that is more common than I realized... Sleep apnea. Severe sleep apnea. I used to be so full of energy--- so creative. So fast at doing the creations I love. But lately, I am just so BLAH.

Well, I have the necessary treatments under way, so hopefully I can return to some feeling of usefulness as an artist (let alone a human being) in this world soon... It sure does mess a person up when he/she doesn't get the sleep and rest they need. For those who don't know- sleep apnea is when the air passage you breathe though while you sleep closes up while you are completely relaxed-- in other words, you stop breathing for up to several seconds. Then, you open your mouth and literally gasp for air, to breathe again. Apparently, I do this in the area of 315 times a night. That's like, every few minutes. No wonder I feel like crap...

Anyhow-- the relevance of me posting this here on my blog is basically an explanation-- even to myself--- why I haven't been keeping up on stuff on my site lately. But I guess we should be seeing some progress very soon... I hope.

On the better side of things, my animation work is coming along very well. As some know, I have been pursuing the concept of "paintings that move" animation... It's really interesting, and you will be seeing a lot of it here very soon. Today's pic is a screen grab from one of the latest clips.

Eventually I'll Find My Groove...

2008-11-24T07:15:00.005-05:00

I am the most disorganized person I know. I'm a slob... I'm undisciplined. I am also a procrastinator who wants to give in to laziness. And at the same time while all of the above is true-- People like my art... Which causes a terrible conflict in and of itself... I'm horrible at keeping up with the web communications. Take this blog for example: Last dated entry; JULY. And then I also have a deviantart account which I also need to update.

Don't get me wrong--- I read everything on these things when people post, and check them on a regular basis--- It's just that I become overwhelmed with all of it and end up procrastinating it. I say tomyself, "I'll respond to that later.." And then forget about it.

On youtube, I have hundreds of unanswered messages that I just didn't get around to answering. It's not that I don't find these people important enough, but I think it is the other way around. On this end, I'm just a regular guy who has stumbled into something where people think I am more than I actually am. I have a pretty modest status as a regular person, and as an artist-- I really am nobody. Professionally, I make a good living as a "ghost" creative, being paid to illustrate and bring to life other people's ideas without ever getting any name recognition for it. But it doesn't bother me...

And I think that is my main problem. It's too easy. I'm a wimp. Instead of trying to make a name for myself, and attempting to BE somebody, I hide like a coward in the everyday anonymous routine of commercial art.

AS sort of a side thing, I found youtube a while back and noticed the "speed painting" thing artists were doing. I thought I'd try it out, for fun and to stimulate that artistic part of me that never gets free reign in my "day job" work... Well, here it is almost 2 years later, and that thing has really taken off. I'm a bit overwhelmed by it, because of the pouring in of respect and recognition I get from people, and the insane spike of hits my website gets because of it. But as a procrastinator, I'm afraid I'm constantly letting people down by not responding to them. The thought of that kills me... And I am sorry. If you are reading this, and you are one of those students who are in high school who write me with big hopes and dreams of becoming an artist tomorrow-- I apologize if I have not written back yet. Feel free to give me another nudge. I am working real hard to get my life in order as an artist.

Eventually I'll find that groove.. I'll find a routine. I have to. I'm getting close to 40, just had a third kid, and have a daughter with autism. I need to take this God given gift of art, and make it mean something. So it's time for me to come out of hiding... Time to stop being a coward, and move forward...

And to all who have stopped by to write me kind words of praise-- thank you. You over estimate me in your praise, but thanks. And to those who write questions, please be patient. I'll get to them... I promise.

(Oh, and the pic that I have with this message is just a side thing I did recently... An airbrush painting of my son. Check out my youtube channel to see a timelapse vid of it.)

Art is so subjective...

2008-07-25T12:16:00.001-04:00

What can I say?

I'm a 37 year old self-taught regular guy who's strongest ability happens to be art. Or it might be better stated: "I can create stuff". As far as the word "art" goes, I have been learning just how subjective that can be!

Ever since I can remember I have always been able to create and draw well... Throughout most of my life, I never had any technical understanding about what it is I can do, EVER.

Only recently, over the past few years have I been learning what others in industrial and institutional establishments have set in place as to what the "standards" are regarding that "technical understanding" of what makes art what it is...
And boy... Has it been WEIRD for me. Sometimes good... Sometimes bad. It depends on the perspective of the person(s) I am dealing with. But the closest thing I can come to for any "absolutes" regarding the matter is to observe half of it in statistics, and the other half in philosophy...

The first half, statistics-- is referring to the general populace and it's reaction to the art... Do they like it? The answer is yes. The vast majority of people who observe what it is I do has an extremely overwhelming reaction to my work. The smaller percentage that does not tends to have a very critical reaction to the work, but mostly from an institutional or industrial bias... Meaning that my worst critics are my peers. Some in fine arts, some in commercial art, but all somehow coming from a standard that they base their own experience and perspective art truly is.

And with that, we are left with the other half of the mix: the philosophy. It's a typical pattern of human nature. It really reminds me a lot of religion and politics... You get a mix of opinions and bias based on the circumstances, educations, and sometimes insecurities of the individual who presents their opposite view of what you believe in, or what makes you who YOU are.

But ultimately, I have learned there is one trait that can really help an artist cope with it all... At least for me... And that is humility. In other words, knowing you are not the best... Your knowledge or experience isn't THE knowledge and experience behind it all. Basically, just have an open mind. An interesting but HARD thing to do, is try and put yourself in the reversed role of the critic who is panning your work. Switch it around, and pretend it is his/her work and it is you saying these exact comments about them.

For example-- recently I did a google search for "chrisscalf" to see how well statistically my website (or terms relating to my website) come up... It was only a few results down that caught my eye: one of the links was a prominent CG forum where someone had found my youtube vids and was posting links for others to check it out. But I as read down-- what had started out as a compliment from this individual who seemed impressed soon evolved into an awful scrutiny from others that ranged from a questioning the authenticity of my art to extreme critism of my use of color and proportioning/composition skills. In a nutshell: they tore me to pieces.

Naturally, it bummed me out. But I quickly joined the forum to defend first and foremost my authenticity as a REAL artist and not a FRAUD. But even though I winced and wanted to lash out-- I stayed humble and accepted the criticisms of my work and admitted imperfections that I am aware of in my work.

Though I wish more of the people would have responded, I did get one person who replied in a friendly manner, and seemed to be doing his best to make somewhat of a peaceful retraction of the fraud speculations. However, this person also continued to offer a novel's worth of advice for bettering my art skills... From various resources in anatomy training to better choice of color composition.

The person meant well, and spoke very kindly-- but this is where the statistics contradict the philosophy: Here I was-- for a moment-- reduced down to the mindset of an art student-- or a person who was just about to begin a career in art...

Yet as a contradiction by reality, I was already a professional working in the field for years on countless commercial projects regarded highly and persistently sought by clients for my judgement and ability to do the very things this individual was criticizing me on.

It was a very weird feeling, and interesting situation to learn from. Not about art, but just how we as artists (let alone as human beings) treat each other in the field, even if the statistics say that we are doing fine with our own unique abilities.

...But that's why I value the importance of humility. So many times have I encountered situations like this... And I personally know other artists who have gone through the same thing, or do the very thing to others. It's best just sit back and try to find those faults that the critic is seeing... It slaps the ego a bit, but useful info can be gleened. And it can also expose the critics perspective and where their bias is truly coming from.

For me in the situation outlined above-- I got yet another reminder that sometimes when I draw without reference, my lack of anatomical knowledge shows. This person recognized that and wasn't the first one to point that out in my work. But at the same time, this person had also recommended a further study in my use of color-- which in fantasy art painting is completely subjective. (I have always felt that art derived from the artists imagination best depicts the artists feel and mood, especially in their use of color) And while I accepted this person's view that there are different teachings of "color theory", this was not a recurring weakness I had ever been critiqued on, but rather a strong point of praise from 99% of my clients. Therefore, statistics outweighed an isolated this person's personal perspective that was perhaps based on his own art educational experience.

But all in all, I observe the whole occurrence that took place in this forum and only wish that humility was used in the critics who scrutinized my work... The use of the words "in my opinion" or "from what I've learned" or even "from my experience" are all good ways that I wish they would use. But like religion and politics. It's human nature... It'll never change.

Anyway-- that's my stance... That's basically who I am as an artist, and where I come from. But that what these blogs are for, right?

How do I use this thing, again?

2008-06-27T19:51:00.002-04:00

Don't mind me... Just testing this thing again. My wife set it up a long time ago, and I forgot about it. Just practicing how to use it!

Welcome!

2007-10-27T17:27:00.001-04:00

Welcome to the blog for Christopher Scalf Illustrations. This is a place that will be used to showcase art for comment. Look back often and let us know what you think. This first painting was done for you tube. To check it out go to: http://youtube.com/watch?v=U-n4i7Io2n0